Words Left Unsaid
by sometimescalledtuck
Summary: Ginny struggles with the idea of Harry constantly being in danger, going from the war to the auror office. HP/GW
1. The End

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters.

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Words Left Unsaid

She knew where to find him. She knew him too well for his own good. She ran from the bittersweet celebration, from her family and friends rejoicing the downfall of a man that had caused so much pain in their lives. Jumping over holes in the floor and avoiding fragments that had been blasted from walls and ceilings, she knew where he would be, and she was getting close now. Soon, she was traveling down that corridor that she knew better than any other, the one she had traveled down so many times for the past six years. She broke into a run-she needed to speak to him. The familiar portrait of the Fat Lady looked at her excitedly.

"No reason for a password now! Go on in."

Ginny crawled through the portrait hole and looked around the Gryffindor common room. It was emptier than she had ever seen it, even during those nights when she had to study so late, she saw a peek of dawn out the window. The fire was not crackling; no one rested in the most comfortable armchair by the fireplace. She headed towards the stairs for the boys' dormitory. She opened the door and looked in, out of breath. He sat on his bed, just staring into space. He looked sadder than she had ever seen him. A wave of emotion came over her, like someone had splashed cold water on her face. They were finally alone together, after all those long and unbearable months. She walked over to the bed and sat next to him, suddenly uncomfortable. She felt small, awkward. Had she intruded on something? Did he even want to see her now? He had shown no sign of wanting to be with her-left no note, granted her with no hug at seeing her again. She just sat and thought of all these things, and all the things she wanted to say to him. There were so many questions left unanswered and so many words left unsaid. And yet, with all of these thoughts running through her head, she was speechless.

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He didn't know what to say. She sat there, with grime mixed with blood on her cheeks and a bandage across her neck, her robes torn and one sleeve falling off, her fiery red hair a mess and with a long cut across her exposed arm. She looked sadder than he had ever seen her. Ginny sat, silent and unmoving. She would sometimes take a breath, as if trying to speak. Each time she did, Harry would be on guard, would turn away. She had so much to be angry for. 

He stared at her staring at the wall, taking into account every little change he may have missed. Somehow, there were more freckles on her arms. She had a lock of hair that had been singed, an inch shorter than the rest. Her features were more pronounced than he remembered; she looked more grown-up. She took another long, deep breath, and Harry turned, bracing himself.

"I thought you were dead," she said. Her voice was hoarse, unsteady. Her words stung. He couldn't think of a response, so instead sat there, staring straight ahead. She didn't look at him as she continued. "My brother was dead. Tonks was dead. Lupin was dead. Neville had chosen that moment to stand up to the most evil wizard of our modern world…and you were dead."

Ginny's voice broke, and Harry hated himself for doing this to her. He examined a spider, crawling up the wall.

"And then you disappeared, and there was chaos, and no one knew what the bloody Hell was going on. And I was pushed inside the castle by the crowd and that foul Bellatrix woman started singing. Singing! And I turned around, and she started talking to me about you. Taunting me because you were dead-she knew what you and I…I tried to send a curse at her, but she deflected it. She tried to use the Killing Curse on me, and Harry, I almost let her do it, because I couldn't bear the idea of being in a world without you. I hadn't even realized that Luna and Hermione were with me. I couldn't hear or see anything, because the only thought I had in my head was, 'Harry's dead.'

"I didn't think you wanted to be with me anymore. You just left, for months on end-no note, or word. You stuffed me in the Room of Requirement like _I _was what they wanted. I was stuck there with no word about what was going on-I had no way of knowing if it was over or not. I had no way of knowing who was dead or alive. I needed you, Harry. I needed you to be there, if only for a moment. I needed to know that you still cared."

Harry wanted to object, but he couldn't find the words. He could feel her eyes on him now, but he just sat.

"And now it's all over. You don't have to fight Voldemort anymore. You could lead a normal, safe life if you wanted to…but I know you won't. Because you want to be an auror, don't you? You're going to go and get paid for going off and fighting evil wizards. And if we stay together, then I'll forever be locked up in the Room of Requirement, with no knowledge and no you. And I can't handle that. I'm not strong enough, Harry. I'm just not strong enough."

She paused, as if waiting for a response, but he said nothing. She turned back to the wall, and now spoke quietly. She sounded sadder than ever, and he finally looked at her tear-streaked face.

"Harry, I…I have to end things with you. I'm not strong enough to handle this-I can't handle you. Under different circumstances, this could have worked out. You and I could be the dream couple that grows old together and lives long, happy, love-filled lives. But I'm not strong enough, and you're too noble. I have a dead brother; I should be spending time with my family…"

Everything Ginny had said came crashing down on Harry; he couldn't handle the idea of her leaving him. How could she think she wasn't strong when she was the strongest person he knew? And how could he tell her that?

She got up to go, apparently having said what she had to say.

"Wait!" Harry grabbed her arm, pulled her back to the bed. "Ginny, don't leave me. I'm the one who isn't good enough for you! I need you so much!" He had never thought he could be reduced to such begging, yet here he was. "Stay. Stay with me."

She sat for a long time, staring at him. He stared into her brown eyes, and he thought he saw begging in them too, but a different kind: was she begging him to let her go? No. He couldn't even bare that idea. He needed her to understand. He leaned in and kissed her, fierce and begging. For just a few glorious moments, they kissed, but Ginny pulled away fast. She stared at him for only a second, then got up and ran out of the room.

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**A/N: Thanks for reading! I'd love some reviews and constructive criticism; I'm still pretty new to writing fanfiction (though I've been reading it for a while). A chapter two is currently in the works, and I'll have it up ASAP.**


	2. That Day

Her reflection wasn't exactly fun to look at. She had so many scars and bruises, and she didn't know how long it would take for them to fade. She didn't even know if they _would_ fade. There was only one thing she could change. And maybe, just maybe, it would help her forget her past and her childhood and the diary and Harry and _that day._

That was what she had taken to calling it in her head. That day. The day it all changed. The day her and Harry ended things for good. The day that evil man was taken down. The day she got all of these scars. The day she lost her brother.

"Just get it over with, Ginny," she said to herself. It was the first time she had spoken out loud since that day. Her voice was so hoarse. She picked up her wand. She wanted to close her eyes and get it over with, but figured that then it would be even worse.

"_Diffindo_," she muttered, and several inches of red hair fell to the floor. With a quick spell, Ginny's hair had gone from waist-length to somewhere in between her chin and her shoulders. She stared at herself in the mirror for longer than she usually did, which wasn't hard, considering she didn't examine herself much anyway. But she looked at herself now for a ridiculous amount of time, until she got sick of her own sad eyes. She jumped when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in," she called tentatively. Ron walked in.

"Mum wants y-Ginny?!" He was staring at her, open-mouthed.

"Er-Hi, Ron," Ginny said. She was trying to figure out what his reaction meant.

"Your hair…it's short," Ron said, looking confused.

"That it is," Ginny replied. She was getting more and more insecure by the moment.

"It-it looks nice. It's not charred at the ends anymore," he pointed out. Ginny was tempted to make a remark about him pointing out the obvious, but didn't want him to leave. She missed this-easy conversation with her brother. "Well, Mum wants you to help her clean something or chop some food…something like that. I wasn't really listening."

"Do you ever?" Ginny teased tentatively, braving a weak smile. If he could take that joke, then maybe they would be normal again.

"Well, you got me there. You'd better go down there before she comes up here. You know how she gets," Ron responded. He walked back out. Ginny took a deep breath and stepped out her door to her mother.

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Mrs. Weasley didn't even look at Ginny when she stepped into the room; she just told her to go de-gnome the garden while she made dinner. Ginny had suspicions about what-or who-would be in the garden, and was not disappointed. Harry was already throwing a gnome around when she arrived. He heard her walk out and turned around. His jaw dropped, and he just stared at her.

She nodded a hello, unsure of whether she could say anything. He seemed to be speechless himself, and she wasn't sure what to think of that. She picked up three gnomes by the feet and had already thrown them into the distance before Harry spoke.

"I like your hair," he said, somewhat dopily. She looked at him. She knew she should say 'thanks,' or maybe even 'I like yours, too,' but she couldn't get the words out. She didn't know what was wrong with her; she had never had a problem with talking. She felt eleven again, with a hopeless crush on Harry, unable to speak to him. She just gave him a non-committal grunt, hoping he'd take it as thanks.

Harry took a deep breath, then gave her a speech that she had a feeling he had rehearsed. "Ginny, I miss you. A lot. I'm sorry that Fred and Lupin and Tonks and everyone else died. I know it was all my fault. But I also know that I was meant to be an auror. I have to do it. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me, and maybe even love me, again."

"How the _hell_ can you actually think that those deaths were your fault? You're even more self-centered than I thought! And I don't forgive you! I don't forgive you for leaving. I don't forgive you for coming back. I don't forgive you for begging for forgiveness. I don't forgive you for putting me in this position. I don't forgive you," Ginny shouted, and she was surprised by the anger of the words even as she said them.

"Well, what do you want me to do, Ginny? I've done everything I could, and you refuse to listen to me!" He looked so sad, and Ginny thought for a moment that maybe she should forgive him. But look at all he had done! Yet, looking at it all again, with those green eyes pleading with her, she felt an overwhelming guilt. What had he done wrong, really? Protect her family and friends? Save her life? His wrongdoings suddenly felt meaningless.

"I-I'm sorry," she muttered, and in his joy he picked her up and kissed her on the mouth. They kissed for real for the first time since before he had left, and Ginny was truly happy for the first time in months.

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**AN: Thanks for reading that! I'm deciding whether or not I'll have a chapter 3. I hope you enjoyed what's up so far. Constructive criticism is always welcome!**


	3. The Original Chapter 2

**A/N: "Words Left Unsaid" is actually finished, but I thought I might post a little outtake here. This isn't part of the story, but it's what my original idea for chapter 2 was. I figured Harry would run right to Ron and Hermione and talk to them about what had happened, but I just couldn't get it to work out the way I wanted and felt like it was dragging. You don't have to review it, I just wanted a place to store this version. Thank you guys for reading this story (and at the end, she was going out to get her hair cut, so you can see how that part changed)! And here is what I like to call _What Would Have Been Chapter Two (If I weren't so Indecisive)._

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"She _what?_"

"Almost walked away, yeah! And I couldn't let her go, so I grabbed her and kissed-" Harry received disgusted reactions from Ron and Hermione, though for completely different reasons.

"She's my _sister_!" Ron exclaimed, while Hermione said, "Oh, Harry, You didn't!"

"What? It's not like it was the first time…" Harry and Hermione both ignored Ron's appalled reaction.

Hermione explained, "Harry, she's conflicted! She clearly didn't know whether she should save you or herself, and then you pressured her into making the decision immediately. Frankly, I can't blame her for walking away. Anyone in her position would have done the same thing."

"I'm hungry," Ron complained, though Harry had a feeling his friend's meal would be left untouched anyway. Ron had hardly eaten since his brother's death.

"We're eating soon. Let me finish your tie."

"Don't see why you can't just use magic," Ron muttered. Hermione ignored him and continued tying the knot, but Harry wasn't satisfied.

"You can't just leave! I need your advice!"

"I'm sorry, Harry, but Ron and I made reservations and you can't cancel at a place like this. We'll be back." She patted his arm, and then took Ron's hand. He played with a stray curl dangling from her elegant bun that he knew she and Ginny had spent almost an hour on perfecting, and Harry suddenly felt a roaring envy in the pit of his stomach, hot and angry.

He had kept tabs on Ginny since she walked out. She had carefully avoided him all day. He had tried to speak to her, but she would mutter something about cleaning her room and run away every time. So instead, Harry had to just watch her from afar, pretending his watchfulness was perfectly normal, because he noticed every detail. He noticed that she had showered three times from the state of her hair and scent. She still had a single short lock of hair, and he wondered what she was going to do about it. It wasn't the only visible sign of Dark Magic on her either: the bandage across her neck and scar down her arm were painful reminders of the battle he had put her through.

Meanwhile, Harry was having trouble finding solace at the Burrow. The entire family had taken the blow of Fred's death differently. Where Ginny distanced herself from the entire family and Mrs. Weasley constantly sobbed into dimly colored handkerchiefs, George and Percy had taken to spending all their time together. They talked little, instead being each other's shadows for most hours of the day and night. The hustle and bustle of the Burrow that Harry had always loved had died down so suddenly that he had trouble being there for more than a few hours at a time.

With Ron and Hermione gone, he walked down to the kitchen, more for the chance to move around than to get food. As he came down the stairs, he saw long red hair moving out the door. He wondered where Ginny could be going, alone.


End file.
